Wednesday, April 25, 2007

My Mood~Stressed

I just want to vent a little.... I am sick of work, it is so stressful and I don't know how much more I can take. I am sick of working my ass off for partly nothing. I am sick of having a boss who is so self centered and the biggest ass a person can be. I would love to slap the shit right out of him. But I would have to be there awhile lmao. But anyway, I am going through this depressed stage where I can't even stand myself, shout I know poor ol Harley can't. I am just tired of working my ass off and hardly getting by. I am stressed out with the bills, lord knows we have enough, I just don't know what to do. We try so hard and it gets us nowhere. I just don't understand...I guess I'm not supposed too, I guess that is life. LIFE IS A BITCH AND YA JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. The only way I know to cope is to take it a day at a time, shit just about have to take it a second at a time anymore. I know that things could be worse, but I just want to live in my moment for a little bit. I want so bad to be successful and to make a difference in this world and somewhat I have. Getting to talk to different people or just sitting there and listening to their problems, makes mine seem like nothing. I have to hear about kids getting beaten and people getting murdered or beat up. I guess this is where my frustration starts, WORK. I love what I do, but some of the things that come with it and being the sensitive person that I am, just wants to go and find some of these people and beat the shit out of them too. I don't understand how some people can be so cruel. I guess my biggest thing is I want to be a mother so bad that it hurts, I know that it is a big responsibility, but I think it is time. I guess I am just scared of the responsibility, Would I be a good mother? Would I be able to give this child everything it needs and wants? I think about this world and am so terrified of raising a child in it, but I guess that is when you put that life in God's hands and let Him be the overseer. I guess this is what I need to do with the issues I am having now, just put it in God's hands and let Him help me with my issues. Lord knows they are so tiny compared to most. I guess now I feel bad about venting, knowing what this world carries and the situations that it holds, but I am human and I do have these feelings and if this is what helps, then so be it. Sorry for boring you!!! Just have to let go sometimes =)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Me

I am married to a wonderful man, Harley, since March 13, 2005. I have a very loving family and great friends. I don't have any kids yet, but are planning for the future.