Wednesday, April 25, 2007
My Mood~Stressed
I just want to vent a little.... I am sick of work, it is so stressful and I don't know how much more I can take. I am sick of working my ass off for partly nothing. I am sick of having a boss who is so self centered and the biggest ass a person can be. I would love to slap the shit right out of him. But I would have to be there awhile lmao. But anyway, I am going through this depressed stage where I can't even stand myself, shout I know poor ol Harley can't. I am just tired of working my ass off and hardly getting by. I am stressed out with the bills, lord knows we have enough, I just don't know what to do. We try so hard and it gets us nowhere. I just don't understand...I guess I'm not supposed too, I guess that is life. LIFE IS A BITCH AND YA JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. The only way I know to cope is to take it a day at a time, shit just about have to take it a second at a time anymore. I know that things could be worse, but I just want to live in my moment for a little bit. I want so bad to be successful and to make a difference in this world and somewhat I have. Getting to talk to different people or just sitting there and listening to their problems, makes mine seem like nothing. I have to hear about kids getting beaten and people getting murdered or beat up. I guess this is where my frustration starts, WORK. I love what I do, but some of the things that come with it and being the sensitive person that I am, just wants to go and find some of these people and beat the shit out of them too. I don't understand how some people can be so cruel. I guess my biggest thing is I want to be a mother so bad that it hurts, I know that it is a big responsibility, but I think it is time. I guess I am just scared of the responsibility, Would I be a good mother? Would I be able to give this child everything it needs and wants? I think about this world and am so terrified of raising a child in it, but I guess that is when you put that life in God's hands and let Him be the overseer. I guess this is what I need to do with the issues I am having now, just put it in God's hands and let Him help me with my issues. Lord knows they are so tiny compared to most. I guess now I feel bad about venting, knowing what this world carries and the situations that it holds, but I am human and I do have these feelings and if this is what helps, then so be it. Sorry for boring you!!! Just have to let go sometimes =)
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2 comments:
Well hopefully things will get better at ur job. Sounds like u have had it with that place. lol Just hang in there somethings got to give. I always tell Stevie it cant get no worse, but oh yes it can. But we are truly blessed if ya think about it. I know we all get stressed though. I think Im the STRESS QUEEN! lol & Ur day will come to be a mommy & yes u will be a great one! Hugs!
Girl don't ever apoligize for venting! Yeah everybody else has issues some may be worse than others, but you are tired of yours and you have every right to be. I know we're lucky and very blessed but that doesn't mean we can't complain right!? But yet at the same time still be thankful for all we have been given and yet to get.
I know what you mean about raising a baby in this world. I feel the same way. But like you I'm leaving it in Gods hands and doing the best I can. You'll be a great momma and soon I'm sure!! ((hugs!!))
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